Learning to play with my child

The To-Do list. I live by my To-Do list. Maybe it's because of my never ending baby brain. Or simply down to my love of stationary. Pretty list pads and the satisfying flick of ticking something off with a yummy floral pen, sadly make me very happy.

The List used to be my friend. My comforting and rewarding friend. It gave me structure, order, attainable goals and a sense of achievement when everything was brightly crossed off, ideally with a glitter pen. Since having children I'm having to address my relationship with The List.

I no longer have chunks of time to dedicate to chores. Paint that fence? Sand and re-paint the bathroom door? Whip up an amazingly cute Liberty Dress for Little Red Head number one? erm.... no evil list, I just can't!

18 things I miss since having kids

I love having children. Even though I adore my two little red heads, there are still things that I miss BGN (Before Ginger Nuts.)

1. Smelling of perfume, my favourite being Jo Malone 154, rather than an odd combined fragrance of florals with stale baby sick.

2. Wearing cotton non-stretch clothing... but seriously, who has time for ironing now!

3. Using the toilet on my own.

4. Speaking of bathrooms; I had forgotten what it was like to shower without a loud voice declaring that "Mummy's tummy is wobbly." And then after asking what Daddy's tummy was like, in the vain hope to somehow balance the knock to my self esteem, hearing "Daddy's tummy is perfect."

5. Not eating food at a pace likened to that of a shoal of piranhas, anxiously aware that if you don't eat it now someone may cry, poo, vomit, hurt themselves or cause a world wide economic breakdown if you dare to savour your meal.

6. Eating food that isn't stolen by a little red head with Puss in Boots style eyes.

7. Silence.

To double, or not to double

Call me sensitive, but when I entered the realm of parenthood I suddenly felt more judged by complete strangers than I ever have done before.

Confronted with an array of decisions including how to feed your baby, how to dress them, how to play with them and later on how to discipline them, everyone seems to have an opinion. These opinions are so very different that it's inevitable that 'observations' are made by others regarding the choices that I make for my own children.

Only last week I was out food shopping with both kiddies (we will be internet shopping from now on) and Lena had decided to sit on the foot plate of our single buggy. When I turned the corner at the bottom of the cereal aisle I did so just that bit too fast. Lena caught her foot on the floor and she promptly, with impressive dramatic force, face planted. This, of course, unfolded in front of a queue of busy lunchtime shoppers at the self-checkout tills. I heard the unanimious intake of breath and felt the silent judgements, not only regarding the incident itself but also on my handling of the aftermath.

To add to this unnerving feeling of  constantly being under observation, I stumbled across a website with the sole purpose of shaming 'lazy' parents who still encourage their children to use strollers way beyond the average weight capacity of 15kgs. Bingo! With baby number two on the way, this was perfect timing for my neurotic tendancies. Fearful that Red Head Number One would end up on the front page of said site the decision to buy a double buggy was seriously well considered, and of course Netmums threads well read, and then promptly rejected as an option for our growing family.