She's not sleeping. Again.
Something's the matter.
I can't quite tell.
Is it teething or is it a Wonder Week?
After over a year of revelling in many a good nights sleep thanks to Lena hitting toddlerhood, having another baby has been more than just a little bit of a shock.
I've realised that I can survive with very little shut eye for oh... approximately two weeks. At which point I can feel my entire self melt into a rather unsightly zombie. Able to only function at the most basic level, unless fuelled by double shots of espresso. Thanks Mr. Nespresso! Without you I would be lost.
Needless to say the two hourly feeds that Marni brought with her after her birth wore me down pretty quickly. There was one day when I literally couldn't feel my cheeks, I was so tired. There was another daybreak feed where I swear I did it all whilst completely asleep, including the pre-milk nappy change.
I was feeling pretty rotten, desperate even. It's like she knew that she had pushed me too far. So she brought out the big guns... the smile! Plus a few good nights of sleep. Sleep! Ah my old friend. I felt revived and able to cope with any tantrum, explosive poo or gripe cries that either of them wanted to throw at me.
Evidently, her cunning plan was to lure me into a false sense of security. We had two weeks of what I would now consider excellent nights. Feeding at 8pm, 11pm, 4am and 8am. Laughable by my pre-baby standards of 11pm-oooooh until 11am if I could get away with it, but joyful nonetheless.
All of a sudden it's changed. We are now doing 8pm, 11pm, 2am, 4am, 6:30am.... SERIOUSLY!!
It's pushing me to the limit and there's no amount of white noise from Ewan the Dream Sheep that's helping this baby get back to sleep in a timely manner. If I'm lucky a quick and super adorable hand holding session does the trick, but mostly it doesn't.
The only way that I can stay sane is to find a reason. To remind myself that it's just a phase whilst also putting it down to a growth spurt and if she's wailing, teething. Call my an idiot, but it helps stop me from falling into a pit of sleep deprived despair.